This week, I was reminded how quickly context can disappear in the modern world. A conversation reshaped online became a reflection on judgement, empathy, and the importance of seeing people in full before deciding who they are. This letter is about integrity, misunderstanding, and remembering the human being behind the screen.

This week has been a difficult one.

A conversation your mum and I had on the podcast was taken apart, reshaped, and posted online in a way that made us look deeply insensitive. The reaction that followed was heavy. Thousands of people, most of whom do not know us, formed opinions about our character based on fragments of a much larger conversation.

It hurt. And it still does to be honest with you, and I'm writing this 6 days on. 

Not because people disagreed with us. Disagreement is part of life. Healthy conversation matters. Different perspectives matter too.

But because integrity really matters to me.

To be portrayed as unkind, dismissive, or cruel, when that was never the intention, felt deeply upsetting. Especially when the original conversation came from a very different place.

We had been discussing a statistic published in a newspaper earlier this year, that said one in four children are starting school still wearing nappies. As parents of a little boy approaching five years old, who is set to start school in September, this felt entirely relevant for us to discuss. Our conversation was really about responsibility, support, and preparing children for the next stage of life.

But online, context disappears quickly.

A clip becomes a headline.
A headline becomes an assumption.
And assumptions become judgement.

It reminded me of something involving your Grandad many years ago. Long before social media existed, he was wrongly accused of something and the story ended up splashed across national newspapers. I remember how painful that period was for him and more specifically, I remember the lasting impression it had on him.

Public judgement has always existed.
Only the speed has changed.

What I have realised this week is that the internet is both beautiful and dangerous at the same time.

It can be a place where creativity flourishes.
Where people find their voice.
Where communities are built.
Where ideas, comfort and inspiration travel across the world in seconds.

But it can also be a place where people forget there are real human beings on the other side of the screen.

A place where outrage spreads faster than understanding.

I think what hurt most was the feeling of helplessness. Watching strangers decide who you are without ever sitting across from you. Without hearing the full conversation. Without understanding your heart.

Some people seem able to brush these things off quickly and move on.

I’m not really built like that.

I sit in things for a while.
I replay them.
I try to understand them.
I try to make sense of why they hurt so much.

I described it to a friend earlier as the ‘lag zone’.

The emotional hangover that follows something painful happens. The period where your nervous system is still catching up with what your mind is trying to process.

It’s a really difficult place to be, and maybe that’s okay. It’s Monday today, and I’ve struggled through every meeting, every encounter, every task. 

Maybe not every wound needs to be covered immediately. Maybe some experiences are supposed to slow you down long enough to learn from them.

Because there is only one real option in moments like this.

You learn.

You reflect.

And then you continue forward with even more clarity about who you are.

One day, Leo, people may misunderstand you too.

Not necessarily online.
Maybe at school.
Maybe at work.
Maybe within friendships or relationships.

People will occasionally form opinions about you without full context. They will project their own experiences onto your actions. Some will judge before asking questions.

When that happens, remember this:

The people who truly know your heart, matter most.

Protect your integrity fiercely. Be thoughtful with your words. Take accountability when you are wrong. But do not let public opinion become the thing that defines your worth.

And before judging others, always search for context first.

Because context changes everything.

This week reminded me that you cannot build a meaningful life whilst also trying to avoid criticism entirely. If you say anything honest, vulnerable, or nuanced in public, eventually somebody will misunderstand it.

That is part of being human.

What matters most is how you respond afterwards.

Do you retreat from the world completely?
Or do you take the lesson, steady yourself, and continue trying to contribute something good?

I hope I always choose the second option.

This week hurt.

But pain can either harden you or deepen you.

I hope it deepens me.

Love you always,