Today your mumma and I received an email from a school. Your first official offer for a place in big school next year.
The good news is, it’s one of our top three choices, from the shortlist we created with you very much in mind.

This decision has always been about you.
Not about convenience for Mum and me, not about reputation or prestige.
It’s about where you’ll be happiest and where you will feel most confident to develop at your pace.
For me it is very much about the energy of the place, the warmth of the teachers, the focus of the school, and that feeling you get the moment you walk through the doors.

I’ve been on about seven different school tours now, searching for the right fit. Some were over in minutes; others, I gave more time.
But two or three stood out, here’s the ones that stayed with me: (might be of interest to any parents in South West London who could be reading this letter).

My current favourite, Garden House. (You have your assessment day for this school in 2 days time)…
Not the most straightforward option in terms of location, it would mean wrestling with traffic on the King’s Road, weaving up through the spine of Chelsea twice a day.
But I went there for a solo tour. Your mum had already been by that stage and sent me in for some further recon, so there was no hiding for your dad, fully exposed in a group tour, which is not a dynamic I’d usually volunteer myself for.

Alongside the warmth and good energy I got from all the teachers, there was another highlight that might have nudged things for me…

The Geography classroom. Maps and globes hung from the ceiling, paper mâché volcanoes and creative projects scattered across the room.
As I was walking out, I noticed the teacher’s Mac computer on her desk. I leaned in and heard Disney songs.
I asked, “Are you playing Disney music?”
She smiled and said, “Yes, absolutely, 100 Greatest Disney Songs, acoustic version.”
I nodded, smiled, and rejoined the tour that had already left me behind.
Not the First tick of the tour, but a TICK nonetheless. 

It might be a little early to offer advice before you’ve even started big school, but it’s something I’ve been feeling deeply about lately.
Maybe that’s because I know what it’s like to start over.
Your grandad was an army man, and with that came a lot of moving around, new homes, new schools, new friends.
It was hard. Constant change can take its toll on a family, and it’s one part of army life that often gets overlooked. I often think about your grandma in this situation. Since becoming a parent myself it’s funny how much you feel these things much more and get a better understanding on the amount of love, sacrifice and support our parents showed us. So be nice to me buddy or you might one day regret it.

So, here’s my advice, about eleven months early:

Be kind first.
It’s the fastest way to make real friends.

Be curious.
Ask questions about people, places, and how things work.
Be inquisitive, but don’t have “why?” stuck on repeat.

Be brave.
New things are meant to feel a little scary.
That feeling will come and go your whole life.
The more you face it, the more you’ll grow.

Be patient.
You don’t have to know everything on day one.
You don’t need to be the loudest to get attention, or the first to raise your hand to impress anyone.
Take your time to settle in, soak up your surroundings, and just be you.

And this last one, you might not fully understand it yet, but one day you will:
If you ever feel worried, unsettled, nervous, or wish you could stay home with your mumma and me (or even go back to nursery), know this, those feelings are completely normal.
Everyone feels them. I felt them at age 11 when I started boarding at Blundells. That’s a story for another letter…

Always,
Daddy

A few moments from last week.

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P.S.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I hope, in some small way, it helped you pause, reflect and feel a little more connected.